《91》（一首拾得诗，拾自《愤怒的吴自立》）

By Ouyang Yu

《91》 

她听任我摆布，那是开始，渐渐过渡到我听任她摆布，丑有一种力量，它百折不挠，最后必将战胜你。我是说必将战胜我。在性生活中听人摆布真是人生一大奇特的享受，你把自己象一件供品奉送出去，随同清醒的意识，完完全全沉溺在无意识的想象之中，摆布你的人不是在摆布你，而是在摆布别人，你整个人超越了自我，进入一种全部赤裸的境界，那儿的一切都除却了伪装或装饰，树剥光了皮，露出光滑细嫩的肌肤，任由轻风的抚摸和轻吻。男男女女一丝不挂在大街上徜徉，或坐在海滨沙滩晒太阳，或相搂着跳一种极简单而缓慢的舞蹈。感觉越来越强烈，阳光照得人睁不开眼，眼皮上浮着一团一团的红雾，眼球感到红雾的压力，肉体在最后一刻的兴奋中猛烈跳动起来，象压抑已久的岩浆终于冲开薄薄的地壳，汹涌澎湃地奔涌而出。然后是风暴过后死一般沉寂的大海。这还不算，如果在听任她摆布之时，能在想象中召唤来世间能想象得出的一切美人，站在面前叉开双腿等着我进入，那种强烈的感觉就会达到无以复加的地步。我彻底地消失了罪感，干吗一天到晚灰溜溜的，好象偷了人家钥匙被人发现一样呢？我几时想和她就几时和她，我们从来不感到羞愧。她显然没有我这么多想法，只要我要，她就满足，因为这满足是双方的，因为她再没有其它要求，比如生儿育女什么的，她不要后代，她认为如果生出一个丑八怪，还不如不生的好。我也想，既然人们都厌恶丑，就让丑断子绝孙吧，但有一点，我爱丑的本能（正如我爱吃臭鱼、臭豆腐、爱闻自己身上的臭气如口臭、腋臭等等）是谁也无法毁灭的，它一直要延续到死。 

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