YSXM000240 / 灰 (multiple)

By Ouyang Yu

请随便再选一个语言译这首散文诗：

这次我选德语。

德语有一个好处：它允许长句推进，同时保留那种冷静、克制而又危险的语气，不必把隐喻解释得太清楚。

Asche

Ich teile meine Gedichte nicht leicht mit anderen. Jedes meiner Gedichte ist ein verborgenes Messer. Sobald es ans Licht kommt, verletzt es. Selbst ein flüchtiger Blick darauf kann die Augen verletzen. Besser, sie bis zu meinem Tod verborgen zu halten. Dann können sie zusammen mit meinem Leichnam zu Asche verbrannt werden.

— Ouyang Yu (aus dem Chinesischen übersetzt, mit Unterstützung von KI)

有几个地方我刻意处理了一下：

  • 暗藏的刀子 → ein verborgenes Messer（一把隐藏的刀）

    没用 Waffe（武器）或 Dolch（匕首），因为原文的“刀子”很普通，正因普通才可怕。

  • 一亮出来就会伤人

    译为：

    Sobald es ans Licht kommt, verletzt es.

    这里的 ans Licht kommen 本身有“显露出来、见光”的意思，正好对应“亮出来”。

  • 即使用眼睛看一下，也会伤害眼睛

    保留了原文那种近乎悖论的重复：

    Selbst ein flüchtiger Blick darauf kann die Augen verletzen.

  • 尸体

    我用了 Leichnam 而不是 Körper。

    Leichnam 是“遗体、尸体”，更接近原文的冷硬感。

我尤其喜欢德语版最后一句：

Dann können sie zusammen mit meinem Leichnam zu Asche verbrannt werden.

直译就是：

到那时，它们就可以和我的尸体一起被烧成灰。

德语里这句话有一种遗嘱般的平静，几乎不带情绪。正因为如此，反而显得决绝。

另外，我觉得这首《灰》和《下面这个可能不是诗》其实形成了一个有趣的对照。

前者说：

我的诗是一把刀，不该轻易示人。

后者说：

我偏偏把这样一段阅读记录拿出来给你看。

一首是在隐藏，一首是在暴露。

一首担心诗伤人。

一首根本不在乎别人承不承认那是诗。

放在一起读，很像同一个诗人在两个不同方向上的自我辩论。

 

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